oakland counseling

Why do some people succeed and others don’t? Emotional Intelligence(EQ), is the ability to identify and manage your emotions. Your EQ is what you use to empathize. It allows you to connect with others, understand yourself better and live a more authentic, happy life. It is something you can train and improve. Below are 6 keys to increasing your emotional intelligence.

You can get there from here.


1- Have Emotional Insight

This is like having a library of every emotion. It consists of recognizing the events that trigger each emotion and why. It means recognizing the emotions that visit you most and the ones you have difficulty dealing with and why.

2- Respond, don’t React

The difference is subtle, but it does exist. Reacting is unconscious and happens when you experience an emotional trigger. It means behaving in a way that expresses or relieves that emotion. Responding is conscious and involves being aware of how you feel and taking the time to decide how you want to behave.

oakland counseling

3- Recognize Emotions in Others

The whole point of improving your EQ is to foster healthier relationships in all areas of your life. That begins with respect for the other person’s emotional needs. Listen, connect, share yourself and empathize. It means accepting, even when you don’t understand.

4- Work on Active Listening

Listen for clarity. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Make sure you understand before you respond. Pay attention to the nonverbal details too. Active listening helps prevent misunderstandings and shows respect for the speaker.

oakland counseling

5- Bounce Back From Adversity

How we choose to feel, think and act when faced with life’s challenges makes the difference. With every challenging situation ask yourself things like, “What is the lesson here?”. This will help you gain the proper perspective to help you tackle the situation.

Need Help? We Can Help.


6- Connect the Dots

Developing your emotional intelligence requires constant attention. It will get stronger with practice. Accept your emotions, don’t judge, understand how you experience things, develop self-compassion and compassion for others. Release whatever doesn’t serve you.

Need a counselor in Oakland? We can help. Call (510) 497-4174 today.


This post was written by Lani Gouws on behalf of The Bridge Therapy Center. If you have any questions or require more information, please contact Lani here: lani@bridgecentertherapy.com