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Love is cultivated during the grind of the day. You can still find ways to connect more intimately with your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together. If you want more depth and intimacy, you’re going to have to develop more emotional connection. 


Start small with just one thing and let it build on that. Here are some suggestions for ways to reconnect with your partner.


Speak to one of our therapists today.


1- Show Up Every Day As Your True Self


When you do this you don’t have a problem expressing your true needs and wants. When both of you feel like you’re being seen and heard, it’s easier to maintain a lasting connection.


2- Touch Daily


It can be a kiss, a high-five, holding hands or a hug. Physical contact is a basic human need. No matter the type of touch, make sure it lasts at least 30 seconds and never let the sun set without touching.


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3- Do a Chore or a Task


Something as simple as taking out the trash or washing the dishes can convey your love to your partner. Do it without expecting reciprocation or thanks. Never do a kind deed just to receive praise.


4- Plan a Regular Date Every Week


Dates don’t have to be elaborate. All you need is time dedicated to relaxation and fun for both of you. This should just be time devoted to each other and not be hurried or squeezed in between events.


5- Turn Off the Electronics


We live in a world of electronic overload. If you want to emotionally and physically connect, it’s most likely to happen with some effort and dialogue. This won’t happen if all of your attention is captured by a device.


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6- Prioritize Sexual Satisfaction  


Emotional connection and sexual satisfaction are inextricably linked. Taking time to learn and explore your partner’s desires, and having that reciprocated, can lead to greater connection in and out of the bedroom.


7- Be Interested in Your Partner’s Interests


Even if you dislike their hobby, feel their joy and go with it. Connecting through empathy and genuine interest in your partner’s passions builds greater intimacy and connection.


8- Learn to Express Remorse


If you’re not sorry, don’t say that you are. But if you’ve done something that hurt your partner and you do feel bad, tell your partner if you are having a tough time saying, “I’m sorry”.




9- Build a Culture of Appreciation and Respect


Instead of focusing on your partner’s inadequacies, learn to accept them. Express what you cherish about them. The idea is to mention your appreciation when you notice your partner doing something good.


10- Be There for Each Other


We all have vulnerabilities. Sometimes your partner might protect themselves from the pain with anger and withdrawal. Instead of being reactive, learn to be there with caring and compassion.



You don’t have to do anything grand. Often it’s the seemingly insignificant moments of connection that turn out to be the most valuable. Try these strategies and watch your relationship grow.


Do you feel like you and your partner need professional help? Call (510) 497-4174 today to schedule your FREE consultation with one of our marriage therapists.

If you have any questions or require more information, please contact Lani here: