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When a relationship that you devoted so much time and emotion to ends, it can feel like there is no hope. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can think of it as an adventure to rediscover yourself. Here are a few tips to help you get control of your life and move forward.


1- Take It Slow


It can be tempting to bed someone new immediately, even if only to prove that you are still desirable. However, casual sex rarely heals what really hurts. 



2- Let Yourself Grieve


It is natural to mourn the lifestyle you lost even if you initiated the divorce. Take some time to be alone and grieve.


3- Learn to Love Yourself


You may feel self-rejection. Work on gaining confidence and faith in the fact that there is nothing wrong with you.


4- Prioritize Your Children


You need to help them understand what happened and how things will be different. Never speak badly about the other parent they love.


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5- Make Time for Yourself


Give yourself permission to do something special for you, every day. The happier you are, the happier your family will be. 


6- Discover a New Side of Yourself


Think about who you want to be. As long as the changes are healthy and constructive, look for chances to say yes to new experiences.


7- Learn to Let Go


Regrets and bitterness will only keep you stuck. Acknowledge these feelings and take only the lessons from your past experiences.


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8- Forgive


Carrying hatred towards your ex-spouse will only hurt you, not them. Forgiveness is essential to help you detach from your past.


9- Write Down a Plan


All you need are some simple steps you can start taking today. Where you know where you want to go, nothing can stop you.


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10- Make New Friends


You may feel like the odd one out in a paired up world. You need single friends. Time with new people means less time spent on painful memories.


11- Start Dating Again


Keep everything light and fun at first. You do not need to find your soulmate now. You just need someone to eat dinner with or watch a movie.


12- Get Support


Join a support group or find a compassionate therapist to help you address the baggage you are still carrying and gain control over where you’re going.



Now is a time of financial and emotional strain.Take the time to reflect and you will eventually find acceptance. It’s a process you need to go through to come out on the other side. Soon you will be on your path to freedom.

Do you need individual counseling? Call (510) 497-4174 to schedule your free consultation today.


This post was written by Lani Gouws on behalf of The Bridge Therapy Center. If you have any questions or require more information, please contact Lani here: